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September 19, 2004

Geek Gear

I received a new catalog from Computer Gear, a geek gift site that is just down the road (just down the road from Microsoft, I mean).

They have two different Swiss Army knives with USB memory drives (Exhibits A and B), and two different Swiss Army knives with double-head hex bits (Exhibits C and D), but they don't have one that has both of those. Isn't this combination obvious? (P.S. If it works I get royalties.)

Besides a crystal-covered mouse and Gummi Linux Tux candy, they also have this ceramic jar. The funny thing about the jar is it looks just like the ones you buy in new-agey catalogs, except those say things like "Fairy Dust" on them, instead of "I'd Rather Be Online". They seem to emanate from an outfit called Tumbleweed Pottery which has an entire collection of these things. And they do mugs and lotion bottles too.

Meanwhile, look at this picture of a USB drive pen, also from the fine folks at Computer Gear. Focus in particular on the picture inside the ellipse, of the pen "in action". Now cast your mind back to a time when you were a bit less mature and think about the picture again...what does it look like? Right!! Doesn't it? And if you are thinking, "It looks like a computer with a pen sticking out of the side", you can stop reading this now.

Meanwhile, for the rest of us reprobates who think it looks like the pen is having sex with the laptop, it's obvious that we need an off-color name for these USB memory drive thingies (well, it's obvious to me). You know, something snappy like "data dildo". They say all jokes start in prison, but maybe we can start one right here. Any takers?

Posted by AdamBa at September 19, 2004 09:58 PM

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The most useless thing I've seen is the bladeless USB Swiss Army Knife. Its safe to take on airplanes, but what exactly is the point of it looking like a knife in the first place? If you get caught carrying something that even looks like a penknife onto a plane you are going to wish you had an ordianry thumb drive instead.


Posted by: Edward at September 20, 2004 02:21 PM